Whats jokes

What did the racist Catholic priest say?

"Martin Luther? Not my king!"

What's the only time women are doing real work? When they are giving blow jobs.

What do you call a pool full of black kids? Baths bomb.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.

It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-

What do orphans call their parents? Unicorns, because they don't exist.

What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What do orphans eat for breakfast?

Daddy-O's.

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

Kids won't eat the broccoli.

What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?

Piss don't s**t on me!

Sonic says: If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?

"Use the horse!"

What did the rock say to the flower?

Rocks can't talk. -.-

What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?

Up Shepherd's leg.

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's.

What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"

Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*

Kat, what? I did. A cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! So funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time of Do you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin?

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.

They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.

Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.

The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.

The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”

The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window, and jumps out.

The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down, and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!

The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.” I know.