Whats jokes
What do you call a clock on a belt?
A waist of time.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
no face haha
What did Steven Hawking say?
Nothing.
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?
A wet pebble.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
What is green?
Grass, you tard!
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
What did Sushi 'A' say to Sushi 'B'?
- Wassaaaa....B!
What nut is broken? A silly nut!
Kid at school tells an orphan, "I fucked your mom."
Orphan: "What's a mom?"