My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
Whats Jokes
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
What is a rabbit's favorite drink? Hare wine.
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
"Hey man, what's that, a dynamite you have in your hand? Ok, well hold it over. I'll give it right back."
"Oh no, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Oh, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Ok fine, then you take it or I'll blow our your butt before it farts."
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
