First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!"
SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"
HE: "I'm a butcher."
SHE: "We're through!"
Whats Jokes
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
What’s the difference between Apple and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
What does the Titanic sell most?
Icebreakers.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple got picked.
Bored?
Burn an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!
What was I saying again?
