Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.
Also me: Are you okay?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?
Me: Because you have no family.
Whats Jokes
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.
Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
What is big and stupid?
The Titanic.
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
A dog gets adopted.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
What do you get when a dinosaur farts?
A blast from the past!
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
What type of place would Papyrus hang out at?
The SPA-ghetti!
*insert ba dum tss here*
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"
What is green and looks like a school bus?
A school bus.
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is ten kids in one container; morbid humor is one kid in ten containers.
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
