Whats jokes
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
What do you call an orphan's home?
No home.
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
What do orphans call a holiday?
A bit of soil and some leaves as a blanket.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!
What instrument do orphans play?
The sax alone.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
A happy family.
What is something an orphan's phone does not have?
Home buttons.
What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?
"I CAN'T BREATHE!"
I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples actually get picked.