Whats jokes
What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick?
Fucks funny.
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"
FIRST DATE
Man: "I work with animals every day." Woman: "Oh, how sweet! What is it that you do?" Man: "I'm a butcher..."
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What do you call a one-legged Asian?
Tie Won Shoo.
What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?
They both go "Ping" when they are done.
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.
What's the difference between yes and no...
Nothing.
What do you call two Mexicans playing ping pong? Juan on Juan.
What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.