Whats jokes
Once a monkey lived in a jamun tree. His friend, a crocodile, came there to eat jamun everyday. The second day, he ate some jamun and left some for his wife. Soon, his wife said, "Why don't you kill this monkey?"
The crocodile was sad and then asked the monkey to come to his place. The monkey said, "What if I drown?" The crocodile said, "Jump on my back." The monkey jumped on his back. The crocodile soon said, "I am gonna kill you. My wife is sick and wants to eat your heart." The monkey said, "I left my heart on the jamun tree." Then the crocodile swam back to the jamun tree and the monkey jumped on the tree.
What the fuck?
What do you call a special ed class that’s flooded?
Vegetable soup.
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. I have too many problems.
What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?
The suicide squad.
What do you call a kid that lives alone?
An orphan. ;)
What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?
One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
What did one orphan say to another?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?
- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS
What do you call an imposter octopus?
Octosus.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
What country has been the hottest in recent years?
Sri Lanka, they had 3 bombs in a day!
What do people with cancer always want to watch?
"Finding Chemo."
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏