Whats jokes
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
What do Myspace and my dad have in common?
I haven't seen them in a while.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns?
He, he.
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
Bob, why are you kicking the kids?
What, it's not like they have a home to go to.
Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.
What wastes your money as you earn it?
Women.
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
What do you call German weed?
Mustard Gas.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.
Friend: Like what?
Me: My name, my address, my phone number...
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.
Me: What? Am I dying?
Doctor: No, your wife is.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."