Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?
Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.
Whats Jokes
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
What do rapists like to suck?
The life out of their victim.
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?
White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!
What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?
The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
What was the last thing that went through PH's head?
Water and smoke.
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despresso.
