Whats jokes
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
What is the difference between a comedian and a clown?
A comedian leads Ukraine, and a clown leads America.
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Only one is wanted.
Karen walks into McDonald's.
Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??
Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!
Lady at the counter: yes miss.
Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.
Lady at the counter: *sweats*
Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
What did the retard say when the water too deep?
"Deep deep."
Q: What’s the difference between Black Panther and Batman?
A: Batman “returns.”
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."
What's the difference between babies and onions?
You don't cry cutting up babies.