Whats jokes
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
What is a skeleton’s favorite singer?
Pelvis Presley.
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?
Hot Wheels.
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
What do you call a gay Megalodon?
Magalogay.
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
What do you call an orphan village?
An orphanage.
What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
There are twenty of them.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.