Whats jokes
What type of deer can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
What type of horse can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
Why can't orphans play sports?
They don't know what a home team is.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What's big and black?
My balls.
Dad: Johnny! Johnny!
Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Dad: Did you hit your brother?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Telling lies?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Let me see your fist.
Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!
Dad: What is so funny?
Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!
Dad: >:(
Little Johnny: What? It's true!
Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!
Dad: Love you too, son.
What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
The criminal is wanted.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a playground.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Interviewer: Hey JFK, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J?
JFK: I er ah Bang Bang.
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.
Kid: So what? At least they love me more.
What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.