New Whats Jokes - Page 296 - Worst Jokes Ever

What is the worst comedy for disabled people?

Stand-up comedy!

What do you call a German lesbian?

A Kraut Muncher.

What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?

"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?

One falls, while the other hangs.

What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

What does an orphan call a family picture?

"A selfie."

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?

The bird can fly off the roof.

What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?

Carlos.

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

A little riddle...

Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?

...

Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?

What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.

What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?

LGBBQ.

What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?

"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"