Whats jokes
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."
Vortex: "You'll do what?"
Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"
*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*
Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
What the fuck is wrong with people?
What do black men in the NBA like about going to the locker room after they are done playing basketball?
Receiving golden showers from other black teammates.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
What do emo kids and bananas have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
Why don’t orphans play poker?
'Cause they don’t know what a full house is.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
Interviewer: What are your strengths?
Interviewee: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: And your weaknesses?
Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...
What did Cinderella wear to the beach?
Glass flippers.
What does Cinderella wear to the beach?
Glass slippers.
What about women's lefts?
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.
What was the orphan's favorite TV show?
Full House.