What's big and black?
My balls.
Whats Jokes
Dad: Johnny! Johnny!
Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Dad: Did you hit your brother?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Telling lies?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Let me see your fist.
Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!
Dad: What is so funny?
Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!
Dad: >:(
Little Johnny: What? It's true!
Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!
Dad: Love you too, son.
What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
The criminal is wanted.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a playground.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Interviewer: Hey JFK, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J?
JFK: I er ah Bang Bang.
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.
Kid: So what? At least they love me more.
What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.
What's the difference between Obama and Trump?
Obama was a president and Trump was a whiny bitch!
Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*
What do orphans go to church for?
So they can call someone "father."
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?
"Cya suckers!🍭"
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
