Whats jokes
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
What did the 3-year-old boy say to the priest?
"My bum hurts."
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
What do an orphan's parents and Nemo have in common?
They both can't be found.
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
What movie does an orphan hate?
- No Way Home.
What does an orphan call a family portrait?
A selfie.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? It stands for family.
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
Because they don't know what a full house is :(
What do orphans eat for breakfast?
Daddy-O's.
Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?
What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
What’s big and black on the road?
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."
"What type of book is it?"
"An autobiography."
What's the difference between an orphan and a toy?
One is played with.