Whats jokes
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
What do you call a gay kid on fire? LGBBQ.
Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!
Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?
Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?
Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Doctor: *calls 911*
911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?
Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?
911 service: *hangs up*
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.
What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
What do you call Snoop Dogg’s giant turd?
Poop Logg.
What’s brown, fuzzy, and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."