Whats jokes

What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?

They're both full of child groomers.

What flour do you buy an orphan?

Self-raising flour.

What’s an orphan’s favourite movie?

Spider-Man: Homecoming.

What’s an orphan’s favorite school event?

Homecoming.

What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?

Economy doesn't work.

What animal jumps the highest?

An emo kid, some of them are still up there.

If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite.

I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.

What's an emo's favorite food?

Shot gun ammo.

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.

Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly."

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."

What’s the difference between Hitler and a bug?

Nothing.

What do you call suicidal Hitler?

Slitler.

Random: What are your hobbies?

Me: Bullying kids in WhatsApp groups 💀

What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?

They crash and burn.

What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

What’s the difference between a snowMAN and a snowWOMAN?

THE SNOWBALLS!

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What flour do orphans use?

Self-raising flour.