Whats jokes

What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?

Economy doesn't work.

What animal jumps the highest?

An emo kid, some of them are still up there.

If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite.

I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.

What's an emo's favorite food?

Shot gun ammo.

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.

Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly."

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."

What’s the difference between Hitler and a bug?

Nothing.

What do you call suicidal Hitler?

Slitler.

Random: What are your hobbies?

Me: Bullying kids in WhatsApp groups 💀

What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?

They crash and burn.

What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

What’s the difference between a snowMAN and a snowWOMAN?

THE SNOWBALLS!

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What flour do orphans use?

Self-raising flour.

What do you call an 18 year old orphan?

Homeless.

What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.

What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.

What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.