Whats jokes
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.