Whats jokes
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
What do you eat out of?
- A bowl.
What college do cows go to?
The Mooniversity.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A one-eyed fish, you smart ass!