Whats jokes
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
What does a nosey paper do?
It gets "Jalapeño" your face!
What makes a bird fly?
Bird food!
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
What's the most expensive haircut in the world?
Chemotherapy.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.