What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?
Snowballs.
What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?
Snowballs.
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
I have two heads, four eyes, and six ears, what am I?
Ugly.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
What pants do you wear to church? Hole-y ones.
What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?
Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D
What do you call a retarded duck?
Fuck duck and lick my balls.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.