Whats jokes
What's the difference between a black & a white fairy tale? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, "Y'all mutherfuckers ain't gonna believe this shit."
What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?
I don't know, what?
They are both purple except for the elephant.
What's the difference between Spongebob and a feminist?
A feminist has hair.
What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?
Go for the juggler!
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.
What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?
Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”
The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
What do you call someone that is Mexican that has a BMW?
A big Mexican woman.
What's got 6 legs, 3 arms, and 3 heads?
The finish line at the Boston marathon.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!