Whats Jokes

What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?

A Sandy Hooker

What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?

Cell-ablate!

There is a man and a woman on a date.

The woman asked what kind of things do you love?

The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

What makes you think feminists can change anything?

What do you call the midget sea?

A pond.

What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.

What’s the best math equation to eat?

Cosine Law.

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"

What's yellow and can't swim?

Georgie.

What the hehehehehehe?

What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?

A bull dozer.

What does e equal?

I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.

What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?

Continental Drift.

What did the bus say to the other bus?

"Beep!"

What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.

What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.

What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?

A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).

Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.

What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.

What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.