What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
Whats Jokes
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
What is Al-Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Disabled.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
What does NASA mean? No Apes Submit Astronauts.
What did Sally get for Christmas? Ligma?
What is green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table.
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
What do you call a router in a thong?
CISCO....(that thong thong thong thong!)
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.