Whats jokes
What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?
My stepdad beat my ass before he left.
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!
Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"
Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?
The feminist is overweight.
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
Friend: I got bit.
Other friend: By what?
Friend: A dog.
Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.