Whats jokes
What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
What do you do when a baby starts to cry?
You use more lube.
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
What did one detective say to the other detective?
"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.
What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun that fell down the stairs.
What's black, white, and laughing?
The nun that pushed her.
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.