Whats jokes
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
What do you call a bad bull?
A bully.
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
What turns red, blue then white? The last person that I'd strangle.
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
You're dumb, but that's not what she said.
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
What's brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
What did Sally get for Easter?..
Nail polish.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? The rabbi cuts it off, and the priest sucks it off.