Whats jokes
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.
What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red Ferrari?
I don't have the Ferrari.
What's long, black, and sticky?
A stick.
What's green and smells like ham?
Kermit the frog's fingers.
What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.
What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.
Q: What is the best Disney character?
A: Toe Mater.
What type of bees give milk?
Boob-bees.
What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.
What did the ball say to the other ball? "You're baller!"
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
What do you call a green camel?
My parents left me.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
What happens when you cross a pig and karate?
A pork chop!