Whats Jokes

what do you call a chicken who crossed the road?........suicidal.

What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?

1 + 1 =

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?

Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.

The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.

The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.

And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"

What do Indian hip hop artists eat?

Rice rice baby.

What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?

"Will you listen now?!??"

A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."

"Hey, today was great."

"What happened?"

"I ran into my ex today."

"What's so great about that?"

"I was in my car."

What’s the difference between a living and dead person?

I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.

What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?

There’s twenty of them!

What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.

What's one thing gay people can't draw?

A straight line.

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

Person 1: "...."

Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?

You got off clean.

What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?

"Fortnite"

What do you call a bear without an ear?

B.

What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?

Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.

What’s my favorite Islamic Holiday... 9/11.