What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?
There isn't one; they are both the same thing.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!
Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.
What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.
What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?
Nothing, he had no friends.
What did the chicken say to the turkey?
Nothing, he chickened out!
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky.
Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"
What did Mother Mary say when God farted? Jesus Christ, you stink!
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂
What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.