Whats jokes
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.
I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.
What do you call a pansexual pedophile? Jesus.
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
What do you call three people in a dark room? A porno.
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There are twenty of them.
What do emos and apples have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What do you call a pun that's bad? A bad pun.
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”