Whats jokes
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
You can say what you want about deaf people...
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
What skeleton does Crap-ton of?
A "bone".
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite drink?
His dribble.
What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"Same time next month?"