Whats jokes
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1-foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says, “Man, how’d you get such a short piano player?” The bartender says in response, “There’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says, “What just happened?” The bartender replies, “The genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12-inch pianist?”
What do cells always have on them?
A cell phone!
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!
Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!
Will: Yey!
Beverly: What should we bring him?
Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
What’s the world’s most diseased country?
GerMany.
What is a cow's favorite class in school?
Moosic.
What do you call a wet condom?
A wet condom.
Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?
AIDS.
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."