Whats jokes
What are the kids addicted to these days? Juulius Caesar (Juuls).
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur?
A Doyoulickalotapuss.
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasnât opened it yet.
What do you call a bad pun?
The pun is not punny!
An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?
Nothing, he was dead.
Student: What's the best thing in the world?
Teacher: I don't know what.
Student: Hard rock cock.
What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?
A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
(Bob holds Deric's neck)
Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.
The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, âI donât know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!â The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!
The bartender looks at the first man and says, âYour an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.â
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.