Whats jokes
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"
He says, "What's it to ya?"
So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"
Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
You: What you doing?
I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!
Grandma: calls You: Hello Grandma, what are you doing? Why, you can't mean I'm right in the house right now? Grandma: I didn't mean to call you, bye.
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
Q: What do you do if you bump into a koala?
A: You koalagize to it.
Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).
The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).
The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)
The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)
The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!
The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)
The teen: QUAL (WHICH).
The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).
The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).
*A phone buzzes.*
The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?
Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?
*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*
The teen: HAIR GEL
What do you call a 18+ animal jam?
Play Wild!
Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer?
A: Flanders Red Ale.
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)
If you're American coming into the bathroom,
And you're American coming out of the bathroom,
What are you in the bathroom?
European.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.
You take four, then you put a "n" at the end, then you take the "u" out, then you replace the "f" with a "p". What do you get?
What's green and is dangerous?
Kermit with a flip knife.