Whats jokes
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
What do orphans need in order to mail letters?
Food stamps.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
This guy is boiling water. The girl walks in and says, “What are you doing?” The guy says, “I’m making Holy Water.” She said, “How?” He said, “I’m boiling the hell out of it.”
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
What did one mountain say to the other? Nice to peak you!
Me: "I came home laughing."
Parents: "What's wrong?"
Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."
Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"
Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."
Parents: "What is it?"
Me: "Who farted?"
I forgot what lightning was. Then it struck me.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."
The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His shoulder.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!