"What did the zero say to the eight?"
"That belt looks good on you!"
Whats Jokes
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
"A satisfactory."
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.
What's Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill?
Walking. JK, Rowling.
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."
The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"
The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
Why do orphans suck at web design?
They don’t know what a home page is.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?
"Two wongs don’t make a white."
What's the different when a little boy drops in Japan then and now?
When a little boy falls today he gets back up. But then everyone fell and never came back up.
Q: What do you call a rich Asian? A: Dr.
What's the square root of 2001?
9/11
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
