Whats jokes
Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"
....yes, it is "long time no see."
Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?
Dad: He had a nap.
Kid: Where is he now?
Dad: HELL!
What’s Steven Hawking's favorite crisps brand?
Walkers.
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
"Breathe... Breathe..."
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
What is a fish’s 🐟 favorite game?
Salmon Says!
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?
A: The dead body had a family.
Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)
Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"
Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."
Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"
Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"
Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."
Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"
Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."
Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"
Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"
Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."
Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!