What's happening jokes
Sometimes I look in the mirror and go, "What happened?"
There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
What happened to the blind man's son?
He thought he was hitting a piñata.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
“What happens to an Asian man when he runs into a brick wall with an erection?”
“A broken nose.”
"What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?"
"A broken nose."
What happens if you mix a dick with a potato?
You get a dictator dic-dick-tator-potato!
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
What happened to the alligator when he held a GPS?
He became a navigator.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
What happened when a hammer punished the nail?
He hit him.
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
What happens when a clock is hungry?
It goes back four seconds.