Weight jokes

Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"

I'm a fat cow.

Your momma is so fat, the whole Earth falls down to 100,000,000 ft.

Yo mama so fat that when she sat on the couch, the couch got destroyed.

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.

Turns out it was the fridge.

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

Biggest chungus to the rescue, fat bitches!

Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.

Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"

Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.

When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.

My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."

Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.

Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.

Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.

Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.

This will take a ton of time.

A skele-ton.

Yo mama so fat, she fell in love with a skinny dude and tried to hug him but crushed him.

Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.

Q: How heavy is a photon?

A: It's light!

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

Yo mama so fat, she's the reason why Slenderman has no eyes.

Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.