Weight jokes

You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.

Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"

I'm a fat cow.

Your momma is so fat, the whole Earth falls down to 100,000,000 ft.

Yo mama so fat that when she sat on the couch, the couch got destroyed.

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.

Turns out it was the fridge.

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

Biggest chungus to the rescue, fat bitches!

Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.

Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"

Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.

When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.

My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."

Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.

Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.

Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.

Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.

This will take a ton of time.

A skele-ton.

Yo mama so fat, she fell in love with a skinny dude and tried to hug him but crushed him.

Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.

Q: How heavy is a photon?

A: It's light!

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

Yo mama so fat, she's the reason why Slenderman has no eyes.