Weight jokes
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.
Location is in London by the way.
One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.
His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
Yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap.
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.
Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"
I'm a fat cow.
Your momma is so fat, the whole Earth falls down to 100,000,000 ft.
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on the couch, the couch got destroyed.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
Biggest chungus to the rescue, fat bitches!
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."