40+ Best Weekend Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

Suicide

Anonymous · 7 years ago

Me and a person downtown.

Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

Me: I guess so.

Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.

Person: Why'd you stop?

Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.

Calorie

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows two contrasting scenes under the heading "Rethink Your Weekend." On the left, there's a plate of fried food and a mug of beer, labeled as "1500 Calories." On the right, there's a Dyson sphere, which is a hypothetical megastructure that completely encompasses a star to harness its energy, labeled as "124 trillion Calories."

Movie

Wade · 3 years ago

Sold out

The image shows a meme with the text 'Five nights at Freddy's movie opening weekend be like'. It shows a stick figure labeled 'Fnaf fan' diving towards the lower image and a woman labeled 'October 27' who is crawling in the other direction. The bottom right corner includes a watermark saying 'MEMES'.

Party

JaBe mistr 😃 · 1 year ago

A close-up photo of an older man with white hair and a beard, known as Hide the Pain Harold, holding a white phone receiver to his ear. He has a forced, slightly pained smile. The text "FRIDAY PARTY?" is at the top, and "YES, SURE, I WILL COME" is at the bottom.

Chicken

Hailey ❁ · 4 years ago

Omg my 34 week old chicken literally climbed onto my scooter Saturday. Pure gold 👌😂

A brown chicken stands on a black scooter with the text "CYCLOP" visible on it. Another chicken is visible in the background walking on a tiled floor.

Face

Daddy Cock · 3 years ago

true

A boy is smiling with his eyes squinting shut slightly. The text on the image says: "THE FACE YOU MAKE WHEN YOU REALIZE ITS A 3-DAY WEEKEND".

Nap

shaylie lol · 2 years ago

A person with messy hair is lying in bed looking confused. The text on the image says: You ever take a nap so good that you thought you missed the school bus. But it's Sunday...and you're 32.

Button

DAP ME UP · 1 year ago

ima press it

A meme featuring a hand about to press a red button. The text reads: "WILL YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? Michael Jackson comes back to life but The Weekend dies I WILL NOT"

Work

NIFFTY · 2 years ago

tru tho

The image shows four different photos of Kim Kardashian yawning. Above the photos is the text "You'll feel refreshed after a nice weekend" and "Me at work on Monday:".

Ball

Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 2 years ago

A large, colorful beach ball, with a man standing next to it. The text below the image reads: "A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks. We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability."

Cat

kiribaku · 3 years ago

when the weekend goes by to fast

A white cat sits upright with its arms out to the side. The text on the image says, "AND JUST LIKE THAT *POOF* WEEKEND. GONE."

Parent

✨Jassy✨ · 3 years ago

Parents during breaks and weekends

A man in a light blue shirt, suspenders, and a patterned tie looks directly at the camera. Above his head, in a bold white font on black background, it reads: "Yeah, if you could go back to school." Below his chest, on another black background, it reads: "That'd be great." In the lower right corner in small gray text is written: quickmeme.com

Cat

Adolf kitler · 1 year ago

A tabby cat is upside down with its head in a pot, its legs and tail sticking out. The text on the image says, "Can anyone water my cat this weekend?"

Lightbulb

⭐️🌙✨SUNNA AHMAD✨🌙⭐️ · 3 years ago

Me always be like on a weekend :

The image shows two different images of Spongebob. The image to the left shows Spongebob wearing glasses and reading a book. The right image shows Spongebob in a weird form, with two antenna-like things on top of his head and with a sassy attitude. The text on top reads: 'What Lightbulb THINKS she acts like: What she actually acts like:'

Man

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a portrait of Walt Whitman, with the text "Teach a man how to fish, and you can bang his wife every weekend. - Walt Whitman" above him.

Community talk

𝓒𝓸𝓽𝓽𝓸𝓷✨

I forgot how fast it is on fridays during school-

𝓒𝓸𝓽𝓽𝓸𝓷✨

Who is up at like 6:22am on a sunday? Well i am

ASTRODANDYSWORLDFAN

if u want to join this chat go ahead, have fuunn i might be afk something like that idk to be honest with u have all the drama ok happy friday...