Wed jokes
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964, we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam.
Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.
My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
I was always poked and told at weddings your next... So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was tiers.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.
Reasons
giving people karma
Community talk
She was more like a beauty queen From a movie scene I said, "Don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one Who will dance on the floor in the round?" She said I am the one Who will dance on the floor in the round She told me her name was Billie Jean As she caused a scene Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one Who will dance on the floor in the round People always told me, "Be careful of what y… Read more
Congrats to @rose and @t for their weddinggg(I'm sooo happy for themmm)
for those who missed the zoom BITCHFACES YOURE ALL RETARDED ME AND COSMO WERE NEVER TOGETHER YALL REALLY THOUGHT YALL REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY THOUGHT THAT WE’D ACTUALLY EVER DATE GROSS ON BOTH ENDS WE HATE THAT IDEA BOTH OF US COLLECTIVELY THIS WAS A MONTH OF A LOT OF WANTING TO DIE FROM THE CRINGE BUT HA WE PRANKED YALL HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHES WE AINT BRINGING THIS DATING SHIT INTO 2026 HELL YEAH KACHOW (In other words, yall as gullible as a retarded purple pigeon dipped in mustard) -me and cosmo