Weapon jokes
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
I gave a blind kid a pistol and said it was a hairdryer.
I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.
Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?
A: Because knives don't have barrels.
So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.
He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.
Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."
The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.
So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.
"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?
If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.
What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔