water's jokes

My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower. Thanks, Phil!

The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"

What does the "W" stand for in Africa?

Water.

I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.

They say Jesus walked on water.

That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.

Why did the orphan have to eat his cereal with water?

Because his dad never came back with the milk.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Their dad did not come back with the milk.

Girl, is your butt made of water, because it is tubig?

What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?

Hail, of course!

What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?

Reign!

My friend: What are you doing?

Me: I'm making holy water.

My friend: How?

Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.

A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.

I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.

That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?

How to make holy water:

1. Grab a pot.

2. Put water in it.

3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.

4. Boil the hell out of it.

Why was Wet scared of Water? Because he was the water.

Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

I met a fat chick at the beach.

People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?

Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.

Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?

It might turn into ICE.

Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?

Their dad never came back with the milk.