Want jokes

The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.

Why was the dog staying in the shade?

Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!

I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.

I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.

Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.

I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.

The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.

The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.

What am I?

A: A baby.

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Baby!"

"Baby who?"

"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"

"No thanks, I already ate."

My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!

My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.

Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.

My wife treats me like God!

She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.

Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.

What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?

"Want to see if it fits?"

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Want to know what I do in my freetime?

Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

Why can’t an orphan get arrested?

Because they're not wanted.

What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

The criminal is wanted.