Walk jokes

Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

So Stephen Hawking walked into a grocery store.

Never mind.

A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"

A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.

A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.

Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.

Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?

Because she got Avogadro's number!

A basketball player walks into a strip club:

"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

Has anyone walked in on their parents making love? I have.

Please comment! :)

So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...

Just kidding!

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.

What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.

Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.

The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.

Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.

What runs but does not walk? It's water.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No? Neither did he.