Walk jokes

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

How do homeless people move where they're living?

They pick up their box and walk away.

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.

A man walks into a bar and see's a naked lady, "WOOW SHES HOT!" HE picks her up and pee's on her and says, "Hi lady lets have sex."

Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.

And walk.

Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.

Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."

The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"

A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?"

So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.

But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."

So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.

This was the best day of my life.

This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.

When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."

You walk into a room, and there’s a lot of people waiting in line to punch you... Yeah, that’s the punchline.

I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"

A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.