Walk jokes

This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.

His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.

The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.

A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.

The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"

My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.

Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.

I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.

I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.

Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?

He thinks she should stand up for herself.

When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.

I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

How do you get 1000 followers?

Walk into an African village with a water bottle.

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.

You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.

There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.