i had to stop drinking because i got tired of waking up in my car driving 90
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning
On Christmas Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap. Joking I know they work hard, they run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.
When does an Emo wake up in the morning? After the rooster says Cutadoodledo!.
A sister went to her brothers room and says Sr:am scared can I sleep with you Br:yes siso Sr:what is this (pointing at his dick) Br:my pet π Sr:can I pet it Br:yes He wake up in a π₯ Br:what happened Sr:your πspit on me so I bit his head of Br:you dummy Sr:whaaat
sleep and death are alike it just with death you don't wake up
So Steven Hawking wake into a bar... Just kidding
Yo mama so stupid she tried to wake up sleeping pills.
Kid: hey mum why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: shut up son youβll wake your father!
nostalgia hits you like a train. it's so hard, you can even wake up.
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work but he was still really tired, so he decided the qiuckest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face. So he asked me to do it but I guess I don't know my own strangth and so-he went back to sleep again...
My brother has a fucking was and I wake up to him twerking
dad: "honey ill be right back i need to get some papers " me: "ok" falls asleep.. *wakes up in an adoption center* damn it was those kind of papers..
I wake up in the morning and I suck my teeth
Yo mama so tall!!! when she wake up from her bed she stands up and found NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
Me: September is here!
[labor day comes]
Also me (ft. Green Day) βWake me up when September ends!
Yo moma so stupid, that she sat on the tv and watched the couch We are in a matrix, wake up
Me in my dream: what a good day *rumble* ooh! What was dat I wake up and I find myself on the floor
aaron and ben meet on grinder [they have a drink and have sex they wake up in the morning in bed aaron says im so glad i got it out ben relys what oh just the HIV
