True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
Violence Jokes
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
What is a self-harm person's favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
I beat up my twin friends with a plane.
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Killing the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Wait, they don't have any.
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
