Violence jokes
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
How do you avoid getting raped? Never say no.
POV: Your mum is a bomber.
Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
What does lmao mean?
Launch Missiles at orphanage.
I'm a rapist.
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by hilarious comedian Isaac Butterfield.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
What is a self-harm person's favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
I beat up my twin friends with a plane.
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁