Video Game jokes
Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?
A: "It's me, Luigi!"
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.
But the cancer patients aren't.
What Minecraft mob do autistic people relate to the most?
The Enderman.
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
You know Mark once said, "Go away, Freddy, or I'll suck your dick!"
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
What is Jimmy Savile's favorite Roblox game?
"Undress to Impress."
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
The gayest person on Earth is Pac-Man.
You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.
When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"
For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"