Vehicle jokes
What is an orphan's favorite car?
A family car.
Your mama is so stupid.
Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."
Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
What's the difference between a car and a car?
I have absolutely no idea, sorry.
Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
He gets toad.
What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?
Hot Wheels.
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.
A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”
I said, “Well, which one are you then?”
Why can't orphans be kidnapped?
Because most kidnappers use a family van.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.