Ur jokes

Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?

654-721-8940

(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)

"Ur mum is big."

The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.

Your dad is gone.

You're so ugly your mom said, "I want an abortion."

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

UR MUM!

What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?

So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.

Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"

If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?

Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.

Your teeth are sponsored by gap.

Kid: Where do I put this paper?

Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

Kid: Yes, you told me to!

Teacher: I meant at school!

Kid: Ohhhhhh!

Teacher: Duh!

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

Don’t cut yourself up about it.

I like the satisfying sounds of your butt being spanked.