I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number. We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden
My friend: you ever feel like life is pointless *drives faster* Me: yea- My friend: if you could die with one person who would it be? *speeds up more* Me: H-hey you should slow down! slow down slow down! were about to-
Hey girl do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening. "Sure honey! If you suck my dick! So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!" "Oh yeah, I forgot" says the father "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
9 months later they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
2 years later they went up again then their daughter had a brother.
But 1 little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother..
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
One time little Johnny was watching tiktok and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly,so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework and when he was done he saw a spill on the table,he went to the sink to grab a cloth but when he came back it was gone.He went to his mom's room and saw a drank with the lable daddy's drank so he drunk it and said it's daddy's he wont mind and all day he was like the flash so he went back turned the bottle around and it said speedy and then he said OH GREAT HEVANS.
Did you hear that oxygen and magneseum hooked up last night? OMg!
Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal the whole stock market crashed.
Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh. But the sidewalk cracked up.
Saw that shit on roblox .-.
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore
if yall look up freshfry jokes ill come up, abt a year ago i had a bunch of friends on this app
What do you call a Titan who can't swim????? Titanic Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. my version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp it would be unsinkable. What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the ice berg ? I'm breaking up with you.
when you tell an orphan I did your mom in your home an and they start crying ME: you f&*k up the class:oh sh!&
Earnie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Earnie "how did you sleep?" Earnie replied with "I slept amazing I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life." Burt replied with "good to hear, I slept amazing too, I had a dream that I was in heaven surround by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
next time u see a Brit, go up to them and say:
Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston'
Bro.. tampons look like sperms and they go up your coochie
Teacher: stand up if u think u r stupid
After awhile a student stands up.
Teacher: So u think u r stupid
Student: No I'm not stupid I just felt bad because u were standing by ur self.
Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were. Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!
*Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman*
What would you rate this woman?
A 7
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
