Twos jokes
What do you call two AI systems that are in love with each other? Member of chat LGBT.
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
Two antennas met on a roof and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
Memes
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
What do you call two black lads in gold?
A Twix.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not the two Twin Towers.
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.
Why are New Yorkers so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers!
The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
I guess in British chess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without two towers.
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
Why are Americans bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).